I said I would share my little secret on how I get the kids to help clean up - without me begging, yelling and screaming to motivate them - so here you go...
Let's pretend they're in the basement and they are all finished up playing. Before they run off and mess up another room, I call all the little children back to the toys that were left out.
I say (with pure cheer!) :),
"Ok, let's clean up! I will help you. (I have no problem helping, guiding and teaching!) Whatever is left out of it's home at the end of 10 minutes is being bagged up and donated to other children who can take care of their toys."
I set the timer. We all quickly clean up as a team. I'm not begging and whining and fuming because they're slow pokes, and it works beautifully! If they whine, I ignore. If they aren't each being productive, I will stop helping.
I don't set them up to fail. When I set the timer for 10 minutes, I know it's possible to clean up the area in 10 minutes. If there are a few areas, I will give them 10 minutes per area. They've never had anything donated.
If they choose not to help, it's simple - go to your room, and I'm happy to do it. But... they know what the result of that would be (I would start bagging it up at that point), so it's never happened.
Here's my conviction, "If you can't take care of your stuff, you need to give it to someone who can."
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Simplicity Parenting - Toys
I shared with you earlier this Summer that I was reading Simplicity Parenting and how I would share some Simplicity Parenting ramblings.
So, here's your first one.
TOYS.
Oh, toys. Toys have always been the death of my mood. Simply put - most children have TOO MANY TOYS. Period. And, as we all know - too many toys = lots of messes, a stressed out Momma and overstimulated, distracted children. And then there's a fight to clean up all of them! This is how we avoid the fight.
So, this Summer I've been on a mission to make most of them disappear. We have a "Garage Sale" closet. Most battery operated silly kind of toys, plastic, duplicate, doesn't have a theme type of toy goes in there. Or, if I'm picking up and everything is driving me crazy - it goes in there! :) It's a glorious feeling. If they don't ask about it for a few months, it's out of the house. The big, nice stuff, we'll sell. They rest of it will go to Goodwill.
The author of Simplicity Parenting suggested gathering ALL of the toys in the entire house and piling them all into 1 big pile in the center of a room. Can you imagine?! Start by taking out the broken stuff and trash it. Then allow each child to pull out a few favorite items. Then when they're not looking, bag up the rest of it. Hang onto it for a bit. If no one asks for it... :) Can you imagine how peaceful your home would feel!?
So, we've been doing that throughout the Summer - 1 room at a time - but not 1 big mountain. I don't think my personality could take that! :)
What do I keep? A variety of items that encourage thinking and creativity.
It feels good. The kids have not asked for 1 single thing in that closet and the house still has too many toys.
But, like I always say, "This life is a journey. One baby step at a time."
What are some of your toy tips?!
So, here's your first one.
TOYS.
Oh, toys. Toys have always been the death of my mood. Simply put - most children have TOO MANY TOYS. Period. And, as we all know - too many toys = lots of messes, a stressed out Momma and overstimulated, distracted children. And then there's a fight to clean up all of them! This is how we avoid the fight.
So, this Summer I've been on a mission to make most of them disappear. We have a "Garage Sale" closet. Most battery operated silly kind of toys, plastic, duplicate, doesn't have a theme type of toy goes in there. Or, if I'm picking up and everything is driving me crazy - it goes in there! :) It's a glorious feeling. If they don't ask about it for a few months, it's out of the house. The big, nice stuff, we'll sell. They rest of it will go to Goodwill.
The author of Simplicity Parenting suggested gathering ALL of the toys in the entire house and piling them all into 1 big pile in the center of a room. Can you imagine?! Start by taking out the broken stuff and trash it. Then allow each child to pull out a few favorite items. Then when they're not looking, bag up the rest of it. Hang onto it for a bit. If no one asks for it... :) Can you imagine how peaceful your home would feel!?
So, we've been doing that throughout the Summer - 1 room at a time - but not 1 big mountain. I don't think my personality could take that! :)
What do I keep? A variety of items that encourage thinking and creativity.
- dress up items
- books
- electronics - laptop, Leapster, Tag reader
- building items - blocks, legos
- a variety of art items - crafting, coloring, drawing, painting, play doh
- hands on - stringing beads, sewing (I just got a sewing machine!), lacing cards
- games - board games, cards, puzzles
- dolls
- dollhouse
- play kitchen
- a barn and animals
- easy bake oven
- stuffed animals
- barbies
- trucks, cars
- balls
- tools
- bikes, scooters, 4wheeler
- outdoor play - chalk, bubbles, jump ropes, playset, trampoline
- and more...
It feels good. The kids have not asked for 1 single thing in that closet and the house still has too many toys.
But, like I always say, "This life is a journey. One baby step at a time."
What are some of your toy tips?!
Sunday, July 31, 2011
The "buzz" on the street...
Well, it's pretty much out there. Our children announce it with pure happiness to all strangers, family and friends who ask. So, I might as well announce it in Blogland. I think it's pretty much official.
We are homeschooling!
Why? Because I want to be my children's primary teacher - academically and morally - especially during these early, formative years.
How? One day at a time - with the assistance of great curriculum, resources in our community and a village of encouragers who have come around us.
For how long? We will commit to 1 year at a time.
Am I scared? A little, but we've already jumped into our curriculum and we're doing it, experiencing success and figuring out the logistics of our home. I'm looking forward to the official first day of school (August 15) and the other outside programs to start. At that point, we'll fall into a more consistent Daily Rhythm - which is when we really thrive.
Any other questions?
The journey to this decision has been one of the greatest I've been on with God.
I SERIOUSLY (and I'm not lying!) used to say, "I really hope God never calls me to Homeschool our children because I don't want to!"
I can say with absolute certainty that I HAVE BEEN CALLED TO HOMESCHOOL OUR CHILDREN. I can't believe it!
I have been blown away over the past several month as I've surrendered every fear to Him (especially on the mornings I would wake up with a stomach ache from processing it even in my sleep) and the earthly village of Homeschool Moms who have surfaced (most I never knew) on just the right days and just the right times. I know, I know I know God is calling me to do this. I will grow closer to Him as I navigate through each day - and I'm really looking forward to that.
This is what still needs to be done to make it absolutely official:
1. I have to withdraw my children from our public school on Monday morning. CHECK
2. I will NOT go to registration at our public school on August 2. CHECK
3. I will NOT send them to school on August 15.
So, WELCOME to another journey of ours! Of course, I'm sure I'll be capturing and sharing the memories we're making. Please feel free to join in and share! I LOVE new ideas and enjoy learning from others.
And - please - continue to pray for us, if you feel led. :)
We're building a great story!
We are homeschooling!
Why? Because I want to be my children's primary teacher - academically and morally - especially during these early, formative years.
How? One day at a time - with the assistance of great curriculum, resources in our community and a village of encouragers who have come around us.
For how long? We will commit to 1 year at a time.
Am I scared? A little, but we've already jumped into our curriculum and we're doing it, experiencing success and figuring out the logistics of our home. I'm looking forward to the official first day of school (August 15) and the other outside programs to start. At that point, we'll fall into a more consistent Daily Rhythm - which is when we really thrive.
Any other questions?
The journey to this decision has been one of the greatest I've been on with God.
I SERIOUSLY (and I'm not lying!) used to say, "I really hope God never calls me to Homeschool our children because I don't want to!"
I can say with absolute certainty that I HAVE BEEN CALLED TO HOMESCHOOL OUR CHILDREN. I can't believe it!
I have been blown away over the past several month as I've surrendered every fear to Him (especially on the mornings I would wake up with a stomach ache from processing it even in my sleep) and the earthly village of Homeschool Moms who have surfaced (most I never knew) on just the right days and just the right times. I know, I know I know God is calling me to do this. I will grow closer to Him as I navigate through each day - and I'm really looking forward to that.
This is what still needs to be done to make it absolutely official:
1. I have to withdraw my children from our public school on Monday morning. CHECK
2. I will NOT go to registration at our public school on August 2. CHECK
3. I will NOT send them to school on August 15.
So, WELCOME to another journey of ours! Of course, I'm sure I'll be capturing and sharing the memories we're making. Please feel free to join in and share! I LOVE new ideas and enjoy learning from others.
And - please - continue to pray for us, if you feel led. :)
We're building a great story!
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Continually Refined
I've written a lot about how Mothering has transformed me. It has stretched me to some pretty challenging - yet joyous - places that I am forever grateful for. I bumped into this during some reading time today.
"When you are "in the fire," it is sometimes hard to recognize the value of what you are learning. But the day-by-day refining process, the problem solving, crisis resolution, mental stretching, mess clean-ups, sleep deprivation, and loving more than you ever thought possible truly makes you into a smart, aware, beautifully refined individual. The great secret is appreciating the person you are becoming through your trials." Linda Eyre
I look forward to tomorrow and the next day and the next. I look forward to pressing on in my profession - Mothering - and growing more and more each day.
I absolutely love being a Mother, and I am grateful for the growth I've experienced (and will continue to experience) on my Mothering journey.
"When you are "in the fire," it is sometimes hard to recognize the value of what you are learning. But the day-by-day refining process, the problem solving, crisis resolution, mental stretching, mess clean-ups, sleep deprivation, and loving more than you ever thought possible truly makes you into a smart, aware, beautifully refined individual. The great secret is appreciating the person you are becoming through your trials." Linda Eyre
I look forward to tomorrow and the next day and the next. I look forward to pressing on in my profession - Mothering - and growing more and more each day.
I absolutely love being a Mother, and I am grateful for the growth I've experienced (and will continue to experience) on my Mothering journey.
Friday, July 8, 2011
My Job Security
I read this today at Simple Mom, and it was music to my ears.
"Without our children, we’d be out of jobs – and heart. Though the laundry piles up, though the dog barks, and the homework mysteriously loses itself, let’s remember the things that matter: the hug, the kiss, the cuddle, the story read at bedtime, the favorite meal prepared, the listening ear. The bonus you receive from that account will beat all others.
Enjoy your job security.
You are irreplaceable. No one can replace you as the mother of your children. Others can fold the laundry or clean the tub, but only you can be, well, you. Remember that you are handpicked by God to mother your children."
I love my job and don't want to lose it. I am a professional Mother! I am irreplaceable. I was handpicked to Mother these 3 children.
I'm absolutely certain it's the greatest, most challenging, most important job out there.
Today - in this moment - I am celebrating my job security!
I hope this encourages you as well! :)
"Without our children, we’d be out of jobs – and heart. Though the laundry piles up, though the dog barks, and the homework mysteriously loses itself, let’s remember the things that matter: the hug, the kiss, the cuddle, the story read at bedtime, the favorite meal prepared, the listening ear. The bonus you receive from that account will beat all others.
Enjoy your job security.
You are irreplaceable. No one can replace you as the mother of your children. Others can fold the laundry or clean the tub, but only you can be, well, you. Remember that you are handpicked by God to mother your children."
I love my job and don't want to lose it. I am a professional Mother! I am irreplaceable. I was handpicked to Mother these 3 children.
I'm absolutely certain it's the greatest, most challenging, most important job out there.
Today - in this moment - I am celebrating my job security!
I hope this encourages you as well! :)
Friday, July 1, 2011
7 is a great age!
A friend said to me, "I thought two was supposed to be a challenging age, but seven sounds rough."
Two is challenging, right!? I think every age presents it's challenges, for sure! But... with your first born, you're experiencing everything for the first time - every age for the first time!
I'm navigating through all the new waters with Sophie, my love. By the time Halle and Ian start doing what Sophie tries to pull, we've got our tools in place and we're ready to go! :)
I think 7 is an incredible age! Sophie is an extraordinary woman - incredibly strong, smart and beautiful. She has taught me so much and has (really!) made me a wiser woman and Mother.
Two is challenging, right!? I think every age presents it's challenges, for sure! But... with your first born, you're experiencing everything for the first time - every age for the first time!
I'm navigating through all the new waters with Sophie, my love. By the time Halle and Ian start doing what Sophie tries to pull, we've got our tools in place and we're ready to go! :)
I think 7 is an incredible age! Sophie is an extraordinary woman - incredibly strong, smart and beautiful. She has taught me so much and has (really!) made me a wiser woman and Mother.
Sophie, you rock! I love you to the moon and back.
Friday, June 24, 2011
A 5 hour time out
peace - it does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. it means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart. (unknown)
My ultimate goal is peace - earthly and heavenly - but that doesn't mean our lives are always absent of trouble and hard work. My main Mothering goal is to remain consistently calm in my heart in the midst of trouble and hard work.
So, here's a story for you.
Sophie's been a little sassy the past few weeks (or years!), and here's my story. I will NOT have a sassy, disrespectful 7 year old. I keep envisioning a 13 year old daughter. What is my end goal? That will not happen on accident. I don't want to wish for a re-do. I'm going to fight NOW.
So, as "simple" as I can keep it - she's out - zero tolerance. If she comes down the stairs in the morning and is sassy from the get go, she's gone. Good-bye - back to your room. And so on - throughout the day. You may not tarnish our day.
It's that simple.
So, at swim school this morning, she lit up in the locker room - totally sassy and disrespectful to me (I was soooo proud of myself and the calmness I displayed) as we were heading out. I calmly said, "When we get home you will go straight to your room. I will bring you lunch. You will stay for 2 hours (that's equivalent to a rest time). If you ask to come out, time will be added. If you yell and stomp on your way, time will be added. Am I clear?" But then, Daddy came home for lunch, had a meeting with us and added to the time... hence, 5 hours - 11:30-4:30 (of course, she came out a few times to use the restroom and ask some questions, but she could not join our "party" until 4:30) The longevity of the consequence - and the fact that she was missing out on playtime with our house guests and even a trip to the zoo - was huge.
So, here's the success.
She served her consequence with grace and peace. She had a beautiful afternoon and evening. I remained calm. Josh and I had a beautiful conversation this afternoon on parenting and our goals and intentions. I'm empowered. Simple Parenting. Say less. Calm is Power. Don't let these battles get us worked up. It's simple. Really!? Fight NOW. What is your end goal? It won't happen on accident. It's simple. Really?! If you take out the emotion, it is. But... that is my biggest challenge - and that is why I'm thankful for my husband. He makes it so simple, and he clarifies things for me.
I'm writing this to empower you and my children (if they ever read this in the future). Say less. Don't engage in the emotion and manipulation. Calm is power. Consistently calm. State the consequence and follow through. We will begin to see results - some day - and I'm confident it will be beautiful.
I'm hopeful and inspired!
I'm grateful for my blogland community and the encouragement I receive from each of you!
Please take a moment to say hello! :)
My ultimate goal is peace - earthly and heavenly - but that doesn't mean our lives are always absent of trouble and hard work. My main Mothering goal is to remain consistently calm in my heart in the midst of trouble and hard work.
So, here's a story for you.
Sophie's been a little sassy the past few weeks (or years!), and here's my story. I will NOT have a sassy, disrespectful 7 year old. I keep envisioning a 13 year old daughter. What is my end goal? That will not happen on accident. I don't want to wish for a re-do. I'm going to fight NOW.
So, as "simple" as I can keep it - she's out - zero tolerance. If she comes down the stairs in the morning and is sassy from the get go, she's gone. Good-bye - back to your room. And so on - throughout the day. You may not tarnish our day.
It's that simple.
So, at swim school this morning, she lit up in the locker room - totally sassy and disrespectful to me (I was soooo proud of myself and the calmness I displayed) as we were heading out. I calmly said, "When we get home you will go straight to your room. I will bring you lunch. You will stay for 2 hours (that's equivalent to a rest time). If you ask to come out, time will be added. If you yell and stomp on your way, time will be added. Am I clear?" But then, Daddy came home for lunch, had a meeting with us and added to the time... hence, 5 hours - 11:30-4:30 (of course, she came out a few times to use the restroom and ask some questions, but she could not join our "party" until 4:30) The longevity of the consequence - and the fact that she was missing out on playtime with our house guests and even a trip to the zoo - was huge.
So, here's the success.
She served her consequence with grace and peace. She had a beautiful afternoon and evening. I remained calm. Josh and I had a beautiful conversation this afternoon on parenting and our goals and intentions. I'm empowered. Simple Parenting. Say less. Calm is Power. Don't let these battles get us worked up. It's simple. Really!? Fight NOW. What is your end goal? It won't happen on accident. It's simple. Really?! If you take out the emotion, it is. But... that is my biggest challenge - and that is why I'm thankful for my husband. He makes it so simple, and he clarifies things for me.
I'm writing this to empower you and my children (if they ever read this in the future). Say less. Don't engage in the emotion and manipulation. Calm is power. Consistently calm. State the consequence and follow through. We will begin to see results - some day - and I'm confident it will be beautiful.
I'm hopeful and inspired!
I'm grateful for my blogland community and the encouragement I receive from each of you!
Please take a moment to say hello! :)
I'm reading this right now...
I'll keep you posted, but I have a feeling that I'll be on a roll. I had a feeling that I already agreed with the philosophy before I picked up the book, but I couldn't resist. It came highly recommended by a Mother I respect, so I purchased it. I'm already totally into it.
Really, friends, it just makes sense. Our children are so overwhelmed with over scheduling, so much stuff, clutter and chaos.
We have house guests now (a mother, a 4 year old and a 2 year old) - for a total of 11 days in our home. It really has been beautiful.
She said to me, "I've been so peaceful here. With 5 children, who would have thought?!"
One thing that keeps coming up is how - "I avoid chaos at all costs." My ultimate goal is peace.
Clutter and chaos = lack of peace.
I love this book. Simplicity = Peace.
Less stuff = less chaos = more peace.
Stay tuned for my ramblings on Simplicity Parenting... :)
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
I don't want to wish for a "re-do"
I've got something on my heart - a little whisper I keep hearing in my mind.
So, here it goes.
When my kids are grown and moving on to college - or when I'm a grandmother and looking back on my Mothering - I don't want to wish for a "re-do".
I'm serious about this Mothering thing. I'm not striving to be perfect - the idea of perfection makes my chest hurt. I was not created to be perfect, and I'm not expected to be perfect. But, by golly - I want to be intentional. I believe it's my responsibility to be intentional with my children.
I will teach them, guide them, love them, enjoy them - and give it my all.
I want to look back and - with confidence - say, "I read. I asked questions. I continued learning. I humbled myself. I was mentored. I loved. I taught. I enjoyed. I mentored them."
I know I'm going to screw up at times. I'm ready for that. But, the end result we desire will not happen on accident.
I don't want to wish for a "re-do".
I am a Mother on a Mission - hear me roar! ;)
So, here it goes.
When my kids are grown and moving on to college - or when I'm a grandmother and looking back on my Mothering - I don't want to wish for a "re-do".
I'm serious about this Mothering thing. I'm not striving to be perfect - the idea of perfection makes my chest hurt. I was not created to be perfect, and I'm not expected to be perfect. But, by golly - I want to be intentional. I believe it's my responsibility to be intentional with my children.
I will teach them, guide them, love them, enjoy them - and give it my all.
I want to look back and - with confidence - say, "I read. I asked questions. I continued learning. I humbled myself. I was mentored. I loved. I taught. I enjoyed. I mentored them."
I know I'm going to screw up at times. I'm ready for that. But, the end result we desire will not happen on accident.
I don't want to wish for a "re-do".
I am a Mother on a Mission - hear me roar! ;)
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Shopping with my children...
is not something I love - which I'm sure is a normal feeling - with children at the ages of 7, 5 and 2. I usually have a very strategic list and coupons, that I really need to focus on.
But... I always tell myself, "If I don't expose them to situations in which they need to grow, how will they ever grow?" If I never take my children to the store with me, they'll never learn how to act at the store.
So, the other night - I took Sophie with me - the 7 year old. Before we walked in - I said, "Now, you will not ask for everything. I have a list made, and we'll get what's on the list. Understand?" "Yes!" she replied - and she was excited to be with me - alone!
So, off we went!
She did a great job not asking for things (for today), but this is what she did:
"Mom, can I have this for my birthday?"
"Mom, can Halle have this for Christmas?"
"Mom, can we get this next time?"
"Oh, Mom, you would never let us get this!"
She WAS doing what I asked her NOT to do - just in a sneaky way (in my opinion). Or is she just really smart?! :)
I don't really know the answer, but I did look at her and say, "Sophie... thanks for all the ideas, but stop."
I really needed to focus on that grocery list, so I put her to work! I started reading the list to her, asking her to get me things, engaging her in the mission - Get 3 pears, 2 bunches of bananas, 5 apples, and so on as we went on throughout the store.
Parenting with intention is hard. It would have been easier to go alone and not have a little shadow tagging along beside me, but I just kept telling myself, " I am doing my best to train her up to be a wife and Mommy! She is learning patience and stamina - and I am learning to be more patient and intentional."
Now, still... I go to the store ALONE mostly, but on occasion - I'm willing to take few little shadows along. Someone's gotta teach them!
What are some of your intentional strategies in this area?
below are comments I've posted from MMM readers (for my publishing needs):
- When they were younger (and far less patient!) I would make them each their own grocery list with pictures of food I cut out of the ads. Now they are old enough to help count and bag the produce (example: "Darcy, put 4 green apples in a bag." ) and pick items off the shelves. Not only does it keep them involved, but it's teaching them a lot about healthy choices and food. I'm not saying it's always easy, but then again, parenting isn't supposed to be!
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