We've had a really great start to the school year. Last week (Wed-Fri) was what I like to call the honeymoon phase. I love structure, so I was very happy to be getting back into the swing of things - after a beautiful summer. This week was a little more difficult. For me, there's a little funk that comes with back to school - even loving structure.
Monday was fine. On Tuesday, I felt very heavy. Almost like life was a mountain that I just couldn't climb. I didn't sleep well on Sunday and Monday nights, so by Tuesday morning - I just felt heavy. Very tired and overwhelmed. I sunk down into my chair in my little happy place, where my bible and other favorite books are located, and I just felt too tired to take on the day. So, I opened my bible and went straight to Psalms. Psalms is medicine for me. Psalms and my garden.
On Tuesday, my bad day, I admitted to the kids by 10:30 a.m. that my behavior was unacceptable. I ordered everyone out to the garden. Take off your shoes, everyone must be barefoot, and we're harvesting. The sun shone down on our little souls, and I was healing. The earth will do that to me. Goodness, I love God and all He created and the medicine of it all.
There are a few phrases that continue to run through my mind as I face the days and walk through the moments that I just don't feel strong enough to climb.
:: I GET to do this. I'm so grateful that I get to do this.
:: What a GIFT - this life, for me and my children.
:: SHELTER. This word can be twisted into such a negative, but what a beautiful gift this is to our children. Sheltering for as long as we can. They have a lot of nasty to look forward to in life. Let's shelter for as long as we can.
Oh Lord, I love You and the Holy Spirit and Your word that breathes life and phrases into my soul and mind when I'm feeling too heavy to walk another step. I pray that You would whisper into the hearts of all the mothers out there who are feeling too heavy to face the day. Remind them that it's a gift to mother. What a gift.
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