It's been a hard couple of days.
Ian is so clingy to me, and I am clingy on him. We have to be - for his safety. I've heard that's normal with this age... but it's been a few years and I forget. He has lots of good days - in fact today he earned an A+ - and he really is a happy and content little 19 month old, but I'm parenting and that's the reality here.
All in all - he just loves me more than the whole entire world. How could I get tired of this? Well, I know it may sound bad - but sometimes I do. My arms get tired from holding him. My ears get tired of his whines and other random grunts - because he still can't talk a lot. My mind gets tired of figuring out what he's trying to say. My heart gets tired of being so patient and loving.
Sophie and Halle have their own set of typical 6 and 4 year old behaviors.
Does this sound bad? I'll admit, yes. It really does sound a little bit bad as I write it. But, I'm being real here.
I'm tired, but I am continually reminded that... I'm gonna miss this. Really, I am.
I have been amazingly blessed. I have 3 of the most beautiful children on earth. They are healthy, strong and happy! But... they are normal.
I'm reading LOTS about being the best parent I can be. I'm studying "reality discipline" and Josh and I continually collaborate on what our plan is and how we can raise up God following, respectful, loving and considerate human beings.
But, it's still hard. Parenting is hard.
I want to soak up every minute of every day - these days are going to go too fast. When they say "read", I want to READ! When they say "fly kites", I want to FLY KITES. When they say "snuggle me", I want to SNUGGLE.
Because this I know - TIME is the greatest contribution you could ever give to your children. TIME you will never get back.
Let the dishes go until quiet time.
Let the laundry go until bedtime.
Let the house go until who knows when.
Maybe you can clean it when they go to college.
Enjoy them NOW because YOU'RE GONNA MISS THIS.
I know I am... because each day I cry out to God, "Help me. I'm struggling today." This is what He reminds me of. This phrase continually comes back to me. YOU'RE GONNA MISS THIS.
I may be tired, but THIS tired is good.
I am blessed. Truly blessed.